Tips for Happiness in Daily Life

by Remez Sasson

Daily life can be made happier. It is a matter of choice. It is our attitude that makes us feel happy or unhappy. It is true, we meet all kinds of situations during the day, and some of them may not be conductive to happiness. We can choose to keep thinking about the unhappy events, and we can choose to refuse to think about them, and instead, relish the happy moments. All of us constantly go through various situations and circumstances, but we do not have to let them influence our reactions and feelings.

If we let outer events influence our moods, we become their slaves. We lose our freedom. We let our happiness be determined by outer forces. On the other hand, we can free ourselves from outer influences. We can choose to be happy, and we can do a lot to add happiness to our lives.

What is happiness? It is a feeling of inner peace and satisfaction. It is usually experienced when there are no worries, fears or obsessing thoughts, and this usually happens, when we do something we love to do or when we get, win, gain or achieve something that we value. It seems to be the outcome of positive events, but it actually comes from the inside, triggered by outer events.

For most people happiness seems fleeting, because they let changing outer circumstances affect it. One of the best ways to keep it, is by gaining inner peace through daily meditation. As the mind becomes more peaceful, it becomes easier to choose the happiness habit.

Here are a few tips for increasing happiness in daily life:

1) Endeavor to change the way you look at things. Always look at the bright side. The mind may drag you to think about negativity and difficulties. Don't let it. Look at the good and positive side of every situation.

2) Think of solutions, not problems.

3) Listen to relaxing, uplifting music.

4) Watch funny comedies that make you laugh.

5) Each day, devote some time to reading a few pages of an inspiring book or article.

6) Watch your thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, start thinking of pleasant things.

7) Always look at what you have done and not at what you haven't.

Sometimes you may begin the day with the desire to accomplish several objectives. At the end of the day you might feel frustrated and unhappy, because you haven't been able to do all of those things.

Look at what you have done, not at what you have not been able to do. You may have accomplished a lot during the day, and yet you let yourself become frustrated, because of some small things that you did not accomplish. You have spent all day successfully carrying out many plans, and instead of feeling happy and satisfied, you look at what was not accomplished and feel unhappy. It is unfair toward yourself.

8) Each day do something good for yourself. It can be something small, such buying a book, eating something you love, watching you favorite program on TV, going to a movie, or just having a stroll on the beach.

9) Each day do at least one act to make others happy. This can be a kind word, helping your colleagues, stopping your car at the crossroad to let people cross, giving your seat in a bus to someone else, or giving a small present to someone you love. The possibilities are infinite. When you make someone happy, you become happy, and then people try to make you happy.

10) Always expect happiness.

11) Do not envy people who are happy. On the contrary, be happy for their happiness.

12) Associate with happy people, and try to learn from them to be happy. Remember, happiness is contagious.

13) Do your best to stay detached, when things do not proceed as intended and desired. Detachment will help you stay calm and control your moods and reactions. Detachment is not indifference. It is the acceptance of the good and the bad and staying balanced. Detachment has much to do with inner peace, and inner peace is conductive to happiness.

14) Smile more often.

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Happiness and Work: Your Life Depends On It.

by: Craig Nathanson

Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41 years some banana bread, took out the garbage and called to cancel a doctors appointment scheduled for the next day. He wrote a note to remind his wife to pick up the dry cleaning. All things considered, it seemed like a normal day.

Robert had “retired” four years earlier after nearly 40 years doing what he loved in the banking industry. After retirement, his life took a challenging turn.

While he remained friendly and encouraging to others on the outside, on the inside he was suffering a deepening depression. After retirement, Robert couldn’t find anything to replace the meaning and fulfillment that work provided him. And this void was slowly killing him.

So on that “normal” morning, Robert cleaned up the kitchen after finishing baking his wife the banana bread. Then he drove himself to the parking lot of the bank where he had worked all those years. After carefully parking and locking his car, he walked into a local store and handed a note to the clerk behind the counter. Then he walked outside and shot himself in the head. He ended his life with one bullet at 1pm on a blazing sunny day.

Robert was my dad.

Your happiness is your responsibility

A few years back, when I decided to leave corporate America after 25 years, I thought I had learned enough about mid-life and work.

After all, I was in the middle of my Ph.D research on what happens to mid-life adults when they leave the security of the nest to follow their hearts and their life’s calling. I had coined a new term, ‘’Vocational Passion,’’ to describe this alignment of passions, abilities and interests. I had started a new on-line community at www.thevocationalcoach.com, and I wrote a book, ‘’P Is For Perfect: Your Perfect Vocational Day’’ in an attempt to boil down this research in a practical 10 step model.

Yes, I had thought, with my corporate background, various degrees, new clients, new office, workshops, public speaking gigs and a burning desire to make a difference in the world, I had learned enough.

I was wrong. The biggest challenges were still ahead.

So as I struggle to make sense of his death, I also am finding new strength in my own work, helping others to find meaning and fulfillment in their vocational lives. This is especially so in mid-life, which can be the most threatening period of all.

When my dad lost his purpose for living, he also lost the will to live.

Fortunately, most people don’t take this action to end their own life but many people shoot themselves in the head emotionally, continuing to work at jobs which no longer provide meaning or passion or fulfillment.

It doesn’t have to be this way. With this article, I am hopeful, maybe one life can be saved as a result of acknowledging that depression may be a symptom of not living a life filled with purpose, meaning and fulfillment. As a result, a call to action is a must.

As the psychologist Carl Jung said, mid-life is a time to listen deeply to your heart. Whether we plan for this or not, midlife can be a period of transition and reappraisal. More inner questioning can occur. Career plateaus can be reached during this period, which drives a need for internal insight and reflection.

Those who don’t invest in time for self-reflection in mid-life may experience increased stress and other distress signals. The sense of crisis may vary from one person to the next. For those who do experience stress, making changes in mid-life is never easy or without challenges.

Can you make the difficult choices?

Making work-related change in mid-life to pursue a dream or passion generates a lot of issues. I have observed in working with my own clients that these issues generally fall into three categories: emotional, relationship and financial.

Am I good enough? Can I can give myself permission to follow my heart?

What will my loved one’s say? If they don’t agree, do I dare test a relationship or rock the boat at this point in my life?

Despite all the “sound” financial advice to save for retirement, do I instead invest in myself now, thus perhaps turning my financial world upside down.

Are my loved one’s willing to make this sacrifice? What if they are not?

These questions will all come up. One will feel selfish and may well be accused of being self-indulgent of self-absorbed. Well, mid-life is a time to be selfish. This isn’t about change for its own sake, but to position oneself for the second half of life, to be authentic and to shred external views and norms.

During this time, it doesn’t help that society’s view is the general belief that work continues to be something not necessarily to be enjoyed. As a result, most career theory and research has supported this notion by largely ignoring the enjoyment factor. Even counseling psychology has largely followed the same path. The focus has been on matching skills and available types of work. While this can be helpful for younger adults, in mid-life internal needs, desires and passions beg for attention.

While society expects those in mid-life to simply roll over and prepare to die or retire (I am not sure which is worse) many in mid-life actually begin to wonder how they can start living. For many, it is a re-birth with new wisdom and self permission to follow your heart.

Economic conditions can force people to ignore their inner needs and take jobs they don’t like to pay the bills. This only helps to further ignore your inner needs. Jung believed that ego was important for development in the first half of life but in the second half, ego should step aside for humility.

Achieving vocational passion requires looking inward to understand what brings you the most enjoyment in your work. As a result, you can begin to understand the relationship between achieving greater meaning and the way you choose to conduct your life.

It takes action to follow your vocational passion. I am not convinced that money can buy happiness at mid-life, but I am convinced that happiness can increase the richness in your life. We each get to define what that means.

It all starts with a simple re-examination of what you have done, are doing and might do vocationally in the second half of life. In mid-life and later, it’s critical not to ignore your heart. In mid-life, it may be the most consistent thing in your life when everything else seems in flux.

Sadly, Robert wasn’t able to do this.

My wonderful grandmother who lived well into her mid-90’s used to always say to me, “Bagel (that’s what she called me) just do what makes you happy.”

I think now, I finally understand what she meant

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Life Management Skills for Greater Happiness

by: Christina Winsey-Rudd

“Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise.”
--Samuel Lover

One of the most common complaints people have these days is that their plate is fuller than full. The demands of modern life often leaves some people feeling dragged out and inadequate. Many people know intellectually that they can’t give 100% to everything, yet still they have unreasonable expectations for themselves. As a result “something’s gotta give,” and usually, it is their self-care & personal fulfillment.

See if this sounds like something you might be saying to yourself. “Life just seems to be whizzing by me, and I don’t really feel as though I’m spending enough quality time on the things that matter most to me. I worry a lot that I’m going to somehow miss my life and then it will be over.”

Life’s demands may not slow up any time soon, and learning to balance life is an ongoing art. If you think one day you will “get it all done, and then you can relax,” you are bound to be disappointed.

So then how can we insure that those things of greatest importance to us get the amount of attention they deserve? Consider the following absolute basic life management skills.

Number one: Identify the top four priority categories in your life (i.e., spirituality/personal development, family/relationship, career, personal care/health) and honestly assess how much time you give to each category.

Often people have expectations of themselves that are unreasonable given the amount of time they actually have to devote to something. If, for example, you are giving only 50% of your time to career, it is truly unreasonable to expect yourself to be a superstar in that category. Additionally, if kids and family are a top priority to you, giving only 50% to career is probably the max you can give and still have enough time and energy left over.

Number two: Write things down! Don’t use your brain as your day planner. Doing so increases stress. Consider making five separate “to do” lists. The first four lists correlate with your four top priority life categories (from our example above, one for spirituality/personal development, one for family/relationships, one for career/work and one for personal care/health). Then the fifth list would be for general “to do’s” that don’t fit into those top four categories.

From these lists make sure you schedule the important items in your priority categories FIRST, BEFORE anything else makes it onto your calendar. As a result you won’t have to worry whether you’re making time for priorities. Then you can pick and choose from your general to do list which additional activities you may need to, have to or (actually want to), fit in. By the way, don’t be afraid to use that good word “no” to any time-robbers you identify!

Number three: Practice being in the present moment only. Let’s say you’re always thinking about your endless pile of work at the office when you’re home with the family. Fact is there is absolutely nothing you can do about those things on your desk. Worrying about it takes precious time and attention away from your priorities and increases your feelings of dissatisfaction about life.

It takes practice and some mental self-control to keep your attention on what’s happening in the present moment, but this tip alone will bring huge rewards. When you savor the series of life moments one by one, you will find you don’t feel as though you’re missing out.

Be patient and loving with yourself. Always remember, life is an ongoing process and it will throw you curve balls from time to time. But with practice, you will find coming back to equilibrium gets quicker & easier. As a result, you will enjoy life more and have a more consistent experience of happiness.

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